Tuesday, December 9, 2008


Besides being maybe the best gravy accessory since mashed potatoes, pone has worked its way deeply into Flatware County vernacular. Of course, bonehead became ponehead. The same process brought us poneitis, pone to be wild, “Unacceptable, your pone is too young,” way down uh-pone the Suwannee River, once a-pone a midnight dreary… I guess we should count ourselves lucky that people haven`t smurfed out completly on us and included it a couple of times in every sentence.

When I was little our corn bread was the southern variety, a little white on the inside, a golden-crusted, steaming, buttery miracle. I hardly remember the peas, beans, the corn or even the beets (yuck). Even now I can remember the slight twang (probably buttermilk) of the coo-coo-clock weight shaped muffins. My other childhood memories somehow pale when compared to the glass of milk stuffed full of crumbled corn bread or the golden color of sorghum syrup when I swirled in the butter.

Pone head, hey, takes one to be one. The definition of pone from wikipedia includes “one who possesses certain rural, unsophiscated peculiarities.” It`s a silly job, but somebody`s gotta do it. “And each separate dying ember wrought its ghost a-pone the floor.” ........Chatty Silvers

Saturday, December 6, 2008


Well, Plush Neon Monkey got his wish. First thought to be a malfunction from a long running (two or three weeks) continuous cycle, the sudden appearance of The Crack Palace Portal is not a fluke! A breakaway portion of the Big Smoke`s Crack Fortress disappeared between over-flights, revealing a short, green-walled hallway with an insubstantial floor.

As he first approached the now wide-open portal,
the change was apparent from a little less than a block away. “What’s up with the Crack Palace,” said Plush Neon Monkey, as he continued to close on the newly mutated portal. The portal that had been solid, from inside and out in both bright and dark under-worlds, was now wide open. He flew in and sank through the pale green floor. After pausing to place a map marker, Plush hovered around the neighborhood awhile before returning to the exit to spawn a Harier-type hover-jet in front of the portal.
The wings of the hover-jet are too wide to pass head-on through the portal, but leading with a wing-tip, only a little wiggling is required to enter the “Bright Underworld.” When a gentle entry is accomplished, hover exploration works well as long as you don`t sink down into the dark (there is no ground in the bright underworld). Easing a jet into forward to cruise is challenging, but the view is amazing. Rise too high and suddenly you see the cockpit fill with sparks, and you`re skidding along on the belly of your jet out in the world again. Toggle back into hover and check the map to see how far you`ve made it, and head back to the portal to try again.

The Crack Palace Portal to the “Bright Underworld” only lasted
about an hour and a half before it locked up and had to be restarted. Jet flights under the tiny cars climbing invisible hills were punctuated by splashes of color as the scenery above appeared and disappeared in flashes as the viewing angles changed. Water planes proved to be every bit the trap for jets that they were for jet packs in the “Bright Underworld.”

Further exploration and testing revealed that at least in the R-rated (Hot Coffee) version we examined, the portal that appears at Smoke`s Crack Fortress does so with very little provocation. Just a couple of shots from the hover-jet, or a hand-grenade, and the whole break-away section falls to show the light blue of the “Bright Underworld.” The PG version however, has showed no signs of such a portal. Only during the last mission does the PG version reveal a “Dark World” portal from within “Big Smoke`s Crack Fortress,” through the third floor ceiling (for super jump access only).
...fellow explorer- Chatty Silvers