We are sorry to be the bearers of bad news again so soon after the unfortunate welcome the seamen of the De Haveland received that foggy morn not long past. But there is no cheery way to spin it; the Gravy Boat Tour has been canceled. That’s right, as of now, the Adipos River has frozen, as near as we can tell all the way to the bottom. This means no Gravy Boat Hayride, and unless things change drastically soon, the Spring Biscuit Races will have to be canceled as well.
Resident ladles downstream at Fat Bottom were devastated. Many in that community demanded that planning begin immediately to mine the Adipose River. However, it was pointed out that even though no other source of such copious amounts of gravy has been secured, the very cold water threatening to over-top the corn bread reinforced mashed potato levees would make such an endeavor both very dangerous and expensive. In any case, the ice floes seen moving rapidly down-river make any navigation highly inadvisable at this time.
As sad as things appear at Fat Bottom, promises of help and support are pouring in from their friends and neighbors in the upper Adipose Valley. The Slutty, pardon me, the Slotty Spoons of the Pot Liquer Township Women’s Auxiliary, as well as employees and management of Barry`s Biscuit Emporium, vow to sop at nothing to provide shelter and at least part-time work for any displaced ladles.
Resident ladles downstream at Fat Bottom were devastated. Many in that community demanded that planning begin immediately to mine the Adipose River. However, it was pointed out that even though no other source of such copious amounts of gravy has been secured, the very cold water threatening to over-top the corn bread reinforced mashed potato levees would make such an endeavor both very dangerous and expensive. In any case, the ice floes seen moving rapidly down-river make any navigation highly inadvisable at this time.
As sad as things appear at Fat Bottom, promises of help and support are pouring in from their friends and neighbors in the upper Adipose Valley. The Slutty, pardon me, the Slotty Spoons of the Pot Liquer Township Women’s Auxiliary, as well as employees and management of Barry`s Biscuit Emporium, vow to sop at nothing to provide shelter and at least part-time work for any displaced ladles.
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