LAKE HOUSE SCENE OF BIZARRE TRAGEDY

As county seat of Flatware County, Lake House has long been a popular vacation spot, as well as a haven and favorite final abode of aging flatware. This morning`s fog-muffled stillness was abruptly shattered. In a scene right out of “Ice Station Zebra” the Royal Navy`s submarine HMS De Haviland broke surface near the intersection of Oneida and Nuritaki early this morning in a dense fog, only to be struck moments later by the Nook/Sideboard trolley. The enhanced atm photo above was taken seconds before the trolley impact and is the only visual documentation of the sub which is now hidden beneath the growing ice.

Till this morning the De Haviland had been missing with all hands since 1959. The confused sailors appear healthy, other than those struck by the trolley and subsequently frozen to the pavement. Actually they seem remarkably well preserved, especially considering the youngest among them are in their late seventies and the oldest in their nineties, few of them look over 40. Further examination of the submarine has been hampered by the iceberg that`s grown up around and over it and is still spreading. The rapidly growing iceberg, fed by the unbelievably frigid water still pouring from Oneida street, seems destined to become the first glacier to wander Flatware County in more than a thousand years.